A wise friend once told me, for you to survive living among people, you have to live with this fact carved inside your mind and on your heart.. "No expectations, No disappointments!"
So basically we live most of our lives trying to expect less from people, so that we don't get disappointed; while, on the other hand, we try our very best to meet their expectations.
When we were kids, we always wanted to succeed at school, behave in good manners and be obedient, to simply make our parents and family proud and happy.
As we grow up, we started looking for goals and purposes to achieve, we want to become successful again to make family, friends and parents proud; we go to places with friends so that they don't get upset; we follow rules so that we don't make others angry or out of fear of becoming outcasts. So our goals, purposes, dreams, behaviors and attitudes, have turned from something that we want to do for our own happiness, into obligatory tasks that we do to make others feel good.
We gradually turned into puppets, moved and directed by the emotions and desires of others.
Everything in life became a mean to please people, instead of a step closer to please ourselves. We are troubled over what others might think of us, and drawing shells of unoriginal personalities to keep the attention of people with us. We lost our own identity.
We forgot that the most important ones that ought to be pleased and have their expectations met are our own selves!
We usually complain about how life can be stressful sometimes, how we want to live like children, carefree and relieved from any responsibilities; well the truth is, we tend to increase the burdens over our shoulders by falling into the trap of becoming people-pleasers.
When you find yourself overwhelmed with unknown burdens, take a moment with yourself and pause. People will not be of benefit when you find yourself lost in life, when you find yourself unable to understand who you truly are and what you truly want.
Stop trying to become everything to everyone, if you have the potentials and the energy to make people happy, do that without stepping on your own self! Footprints of people walking in and out of your life might teach you lessons, but they will definitely leave a mark, so make sure that those marks are worth being left.
Have the courage to become yourself best friend, you may get wonders out of this spectacular relationship, because at one point, out of love, you will become a family-pleaser. So up until this moment, till the day when you completely and utterly fall in love with your "ONE" - meet your own expectations, please yourself with the simplest things or even the most luxurious things. Do not step over others but don't become a rug for everyone to step on you. Know your value, to be wise enough to give without being used or getting lost, or even to be wise enough to be able to differentiate between those who only want their own expectations to be met or those who really want to aspire you to become a better person because they believe you have the potential.
Don't be lost by becoming someone people want you to become, rather than that someone you are intended to become.
But again, no expectations - no disappointments!
“Live to please the others, and everyone will love you, except yourself.” - Paulo Coelho
So basically we live most of our lives trying to expect less from people, so that we don't get disappointed; while, on the other hand, we try our very best to meet their expectations.
When we were kids, we always wanted to succeed at school, behave in good manners and be obedient, to simply make our parents and family proud and happy.
As we grow up, we started looking for goals and purposes to achieve, we want to become successful again to make family, friends and parents proud; we go to places with friends so that they don't get upset; we follow rules so that we don't make others angry or out of fear of becoming outcasts. So our goals, purposes, dreams, behaviors and attitudes, have turned from something that we want to do for our own happiness, into obligatory tasks that we do to make others feel good.
We gradually turned into puppets, moved and directed by the emotions and desires of others.
Everything in life became a mean to please people, instead of a step closer to please ourselves. We are troubled over what others might think of us, and drawing shells of unoriginal personalities to keep the attention of people with us. We lost our own identity.
We forgot that the most important ones that ought to be pleased and have their expectations met are our own selves!
We usually complain about how life can be stressful sometimes, how we want to live like children, carefree and relieved from any responsibilities; well the truth is, we tend to increase the burdens over our shoulders by falling into the trap of becoming people-pleasers.
When you find yourself overwhelmed with unknown burdens, take a moment with yourself and pause. People will not be of benefit when you find yourself lost in life, when you find yourself unable to understand who you truly are and what you truly want.
Stop trying to become everything to everyone, if you have the potentials and the energy to make people happy, do that without stepping on your own self! Footprints of people walking in and out of your life might teach you lessons, but they will definitely leave a mark, so make sure that those marks are worth being left.
Have the courage to become yourself best friend, you may get wonders out of this spectacular relationship, because at one point, out of love, you will become a family-pleaser. So up until this moment, till the day when you completely and utterly fall in love with your "ONE" - meet your own expectations, please yourself with the simplest things or even the most luxurious things. Do not step over others but don't become a rug for everyone to step on you. Know your value, to be wise enough to give without being used or getting lost, or even to be wise enough to be able to differentiate between those who only want their own expectations to be met or those who really want to aspire you to become a better person because they believe you have the potential.
Don't be lost by becoming someone people want you to become, rather than that someone you are intended to become.
But again, no expectations - no disappointments!
“Live to please the others, and everyone will love you, except yourself.” - Paulo Coelho